BMW M4 COMPETITION COUPE, ONLY FOR SPEED FREAKS by John Crawford

One word more than adequately describes my recent drive experience in BMW’s M4 Competition coupe – appalling. Well, if you like, you can add atrocious as well.

The distance from Brisbane to the Gold Coast is roughly 72km, and between 50-55km is on concrete-paved freeway. The M4 coupe’s secondary ride setup simply cannot provide any degree of comfort as it travels over the concrete sections, separated by bitumen expansion strips. The noise spectrum covers clashing dentures, and the tyres going ka-thump, ka-thump!

 

The ride is truly awful, and if I were forced to commute to Brisbane and back every day in this car, I think I would either shoot myself, or take the train.

 

I think the problem is caused by two factors – first the hard compound Michelin Pilot Speed Sport tyres on 20-inch rims, allied to very stiff damper settings - which if you were off to a local race circuit for a track day, would substantially alter my description.

 

The M4 coupe is very well-glued to the road, because these sticky Michelin tyres are pretty much de rigeur for track day participants. 

You’ll find they’re a very popular choice.

 

I could not, and would not dispute this car’s performance credentials, after all, it’s an M-car. It goes like stink, has the usual blat-blat from quad exhaust pipes, and the front seats hold the occupants like a vice.

But, oh, that interior trim colour choice! I think they got the interior design studio cleaner, who suffers from colour blindness to spec this car.

 

I also wouldn’t quibble about the price, because everyone knows that if you’re writing a cheque to buy a BMW, any BMW, that sensation in your hip pocket is a rather large sting!

In Australia, this multi-hued abomination starts at AUD$160,000, plus on-road costs, and if you opt for the ‘Competition Pack’, the dealer will sting you an extra AUD$75,000!

Oh, and more on that lime green paint. As I motored south, right on the speed limit, a Highway Patrol car swooped out of a layby, drove to within 1-2 metres of my rear bumper, and followed me for about three kilometres before peeling off to harass some other poor soul! But, as always, I was using the Cruise Control.

At this point, you may be thinking about the future of your first-born, but if you’re buying the M4C for track days, then spend up. If you’re any sort of a driver, you’ll soon be mixing with Stuttgart Stormers in the pack. The M4 Competition coupe is a very competent machine – but horses, for courses.

Don’t kid yourself you could comfortably commute in this jalopy – no way!

 

JOHN CRAWFORD

PS: Like all recent BMW drives, I was unable to connect my iPhone SE to Apple Car Play; and could not connect the phone via Bluetooth. This is despite having the BMW Connect app installed and using a genuine Apple cable!